RPU
Joined: Nov 24, 2005
Posts: 161
Location: Bolton
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 Posted:
Thu Dec 15, 2005 10:24 am |
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Thirty Lines to make You Smile
1. I divorced my husband over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn’t.
2. I don’t suffer from insanity – I enjoy every minute of it.
3. I work hard because millions on Benefit depend on me!
4. Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them.
5. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
6. Don’t take life too seriously – no one gets out alive!
7. You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
8. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
9. Earth is the insane asylum of the universe.
10. I’m not a complete idiot – some parts are missing.
11. Out of my mind – Back in 5 minutes.
12. NightNurse, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
13. God must love stupid people – He made so many.
14. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
15. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps!
16. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
17. Being “over the hill” is much better than being under it!
18. Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up.
19. Procrastinate now!
20. I have a degree in liberal arts – “Do you want fries with that?”
21. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
22. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a short step to the ATM.
23. Stupidity is not disability. Park elsewhere!
24. They call it PMT because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
25. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.
26. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up 3 thousand times the memory.
27. Ham and eggs. A day’s work for the chicken, a lifetime commitment for the pig.
28. The trouble with life is there’s no background music.
29. The original ‘point and click’ interface was a Smith & Wesson.
30. I smile because I don’t know what the hell is going on!
Hope you liked (some of) them.
Merry Chrimbo
RPU |
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