Just a couple of dodgey jokes

Joined: Mar 30, 2006 Posts: 560 Location: wick

Two buddies were sharing drinks while discussing their wives. "Do you and your wife ever do it doggie style?" asked the one.
"Well, not exactly." his friend replied, "she's more into the trick dog aspect of it."
"Oh, I see, kinky, huh?"
"Well, not exactly - I sit up and beg and she rolls over and plays dead."

A teenager comes home from school and asks her mother "Is it true what Rita just told me? Babies come out of the same place where boys put their willies?"
"Yes, dear" replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and she wouldn't have to explain it to her daughter.
"But then when I have a baby," responded the teenager "won't it knock my teeth out?"

God was talking to Adam in the garden and he asked him how he was doing in terms of having enough to eat. Adam replied that he was well fed and taken care of and had plenty of good food to eat. Then God asked him how he was doing with Eve and whether he was having enough sex with her. Adam replied that he and Eve were getting along very well and were having sex all of the time. "In fact," he said, "we just had sex a little while ago and Eve is down and the stream cleaning herself."
God shook his head in anger and exclaimed, "Oh, no! Now everything in the water will smell like fish."

An team of sex researchers decided to study both gay men and lesbian women at a local bar. So one day they prepared a questionnaire and asked 20 gay men and 20 lesbian women what they liked most about sex. The gay men at the bar responded, "It tastes great!" And the gay women responded, "It's less filling."

Joined: Mar 30, 2006 Posts: 560 Location: wick

Just one more.

An Aussie once visited England. While there he was walking down a country lane alongside a farm. After a while he saw an English sheep farmer fucking one of his sheep. To this the Aussie yells, "Aye, Mate! In Australia we shear those!"
To which the farmer replies, "I ain't sharing nothing with you. Go and get your own.!"

Joined: Jun 20, 2006 Posts: 84 Location: Manchester UK

lol a good selection Laughing

Consoles Moderator Joined: Nov 05, 2006 Posts: 846

the one with the knock my teeth out is sooooo funnny,

reminds me of my favourite quote from tripping the rift " I remember that one time me and my father had a fight over the same toothless whore" (plz dont censor this mrix ITS A QUOTE)