Blond joke

Joined: Mar 30, 2006 Posts: 512 Location: wick

A BLONDE GUY GETS HOME EARLY FROM WORK AND HEARS

STRANGE NOISES COMING FROM THE BEDROOM. HE RUSHES

UPSTAIRS TO FIND HIS WIFE NAKED ON THE BED, SWEATING AND PANTING.

"WHAT'S UP?" HE SAYS.

"I'M HAVING A HEART ATTACK," CRIES THE WOMAN.

HE RUSHES DOWNSTAIRS TO GRAB THE PHONE, BUT JUST

AS HE'S DIALING, HIS 4-YEAR-OLD SON COMES UP AND SAYS

"DADDY! DADDY! UNCLE TED'S HIDING IN YOUR CLOSET AND

HE'S GOT NO CLOTHES ON!"

THE GUY SLAMS THE PHONE DOWN AND STORMS UPSTAIRS

INTO THE BEDROOM, PAST HIS SCREAMING WIFE, AND RIPS

OPEN THE WARDROBE DOOR.

SURE ENOUGH, THERE IS HIS BROTHER, TOTALLY

NAKED, COWERING ON THE CLOSET FLOOR. "YOU ROTTEN S.O.B.," SAYS

THE HUSBAND,

"MY WIFE'S HAVING A HEART ATTACK AND YOU'RE

RUNNING AROUND NAKED SCARING THE KIDS!"

SEND THIS TO BRIGHT, FUNNY WOMEN YOU KNOW AND MAKE THEIR DAY!

Posted: Wed May 23, 2007 1:41 am

i got one that
which 2 ways can you tell a blonds been using a computer

1. there is tip ex all over the screen
2. the joystiks wet

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heres another
A blonde cop stops blonde motorist and asks for her driving license.

The Motorist scuffles around in her purse and can't find it. She says to the cop, "I must have left it at home officer."

The cop says, "Well, do you have any kind of identification?" The motorist scuffles around in her purse again, and finds a pocket mirror.

She looks at it and says to the cop, "All I have is this picture of myself." The cop says, "Let me see it, then." So the blonde motorist gives the mirror to the blonde cop, who looks at it, and replies, "Well, if I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn't have even pulled you over. You can go now."
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and another

A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.
"My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?"
"Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped.
"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ...."
"Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."
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A little blonde girl comes back from school one evening.
She runs to her mum and says: "Mummy today at school we learnt how to count. Well, all the other girls only counted to 5, but listen to me: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10! It's good, innit?"
"Yes, darling, very good." Answers the mom.
"Is that because I'm blonde?" she asks.
"Yes, darling, it's because you're blonde." The mom says.
Next day, the little girl comes back from school and says: "Mummy, today at school we learnt the alphabet. All the other girls only went as far as D, but listen to me: A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K! It's good, innit?"
"Yes, darling, very good." Answers the mom.
"Is that because I'm blonde, mummy?" she asks.
"Yes, darling it's because you're blonde." The mom says.
Next Day, she returns from school and cries: "Mummy, today we went swimming. Well, all the other girls have no breasts, but look at me!" She proceeds to flash her impressive 36D at her mummy. "Is that because I'm blonde, mummy?"
"No darling, it's because you're 25."

cheers
DgO

Joined: May 15, 2007 Posts: 404 Location: Capital of Wales

DaGrImOnE wrote:

"No darling, it's because you're 25."